


Friendship & Flowers & Other 'Live Laugh Love' Bullshit: a stupid story about getting what you want at gunpoint

by MisasBiggestFan



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note: Another Note
Genre: Aromantic, Enemies to Friends, Hanahaki Disease, Nonbinary, Other, Platonic Relationships, evil A, see also: we start to wonder how hanahaki actually works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-06-24 03:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19715572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisasBiggestFan/pseuds/MisasBiggestFan
Summary: Able is on their death bed with hanahaki and it's all the new kid, Backup's, fault. But if anyone is going to die soon, it's not gonna be Able and they're going to make sure of it."Able was ... driven back down to the local hospital, but not before they laid down ground rules for Beyond.1.	He had to visit every day they were in the hospital and stay for as long as the nurses would let him.2.	He had to take an interest in Able’s health and also them as a person.3.	Once they were out of the hospital, he had to talk to them every day and eat meals with them.4.	If he tried to betray them at any time or didn’t seem to be trying hard enough to make this whole thing work, Able wouldn’t hesitate to return to plan A, which was ‘kill Beyond’."





	1. part one

Able was waiting by the time Beyond woke up in the chair across from them. They adjusted the nasal canula of oxygen around their face lazily.

Beyond blinked confusedly and looked around and down at the zip ties around his wrists, tying him to the chair, and then back up to Able.

He was tied to the chair, which was tied with a rope to Able’s chair and he was on the edge of the Wammy’s House lap pool in such a way that if Able were to stand up, he’d plunge backwards right in. The pool room was empty except for them and machines workers had been using to do construction work on the rafters.

They smiled at him.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” they said.

“Able,” Beyond croaked. “What’s going on.”

Able leaned back in their chair and let Beyond tilt a little and then leaned forward again and brought him back. His eyes were circles, his hands clutching the arms of his chair.

“Able, don’t,” he breathed.

“You scared?” Able said and they grinned bigger. “Aww. Poor Backup. It’s okay, it’ll be aaaaall over soon.” They leaned forward to bop the tip of his nose with their finger. They hadn’t been this chipper in _days_.

“This is NOT smart, Able,” Beyond was growling, despite not really being in a position to make threats.

“No, listen,” Able said. “You’ll think this is interesting, okay? I have this… Hypothesis. I’ve got ‘hanahaki’ and I’m ‘suffocating to death’ because you, like, ‘don’t return my affections’ or something dumb like that, right? So I had this thought. You can’t reject my affection and make me sick-” They tipped Beyond’s chair a little. His fingers dug into the plastic arms and he let out a squeak. “If you’re dead.” They brought him back again and grinned at him hollowly.

“What, you think this’ll fix you??”

“Worth a shot.”

“And if it doesn’t work? Then you’ve killed your only cure.”

“If it doesn’t work, I was dead anyway,” Able hissed. “You’re no cure. You’re an infection.”

Beyond looked at them and then after a second, he started laughing, loud and wild. “You’re CRAZY!” He screamed. His voice bounced off the walls.

“So are you,” Able said. “We were perfect for each other.”

Able had met Beyond two weeks ago, at which point they had become sick almost immediately. They hacked up flower petals and leaf bits in class and vomited blood until they couldn’t breathe and it was all around a nasty sight. They’d been in the hospital now for a few days, on oxygen and bedrest and various, useless medications.

And bottom line, the doctor’s said? They weren’t gonna make it. Tie up your loose ends, Ashley Cordello- _you’re_ gonna die _young_.

“The whole reason you’re in this situation is because you LOVE me!!” Beyond yelled. His voice echoed wildly against the tiled walls. Behind him, the pool water lapped gently and if Able breathed in as deeply as they could, they could _almost_ tell how thickly the air had been permeated with chlorine. “You won’t kill me!!” He rocked against the restraints.

“Oh won’t I?” Able said and they stood up.

Beyond plunged backwards into the water.

Able let him stay there for a few seconds before they reached behind their oxygen tank and picked up a remote to press a button on. The rest of the rope’s end was picked up by a cherry picker machine on the other end of the pool, something someone had been using to work on the rafters in the ceiling. Now, Able used it haul Beyond out of the water. The machine creaked and shuddered a little, but managed it.

Beyond came out of the water heaving breaths and screaming. The cherry picker held him about a foot off the water. He was fighting the plastic ties as hard as he could.

“It sucks, not being able to breathe, right B?” Able yelled over his screaming. “Sucks, huh!!”

“It’s not my FAULT,” Beyond screeched. “That you’re DYING!”

“Then it WILL be your fault that I live,” Able said back and they smiled confidently.

Beyond spat water from off his lips and whipped his head around to get long strands of wet hair out of his eyes.

“This is insane,” he accused. “And it won’t work.”

“I don’t think you’re understanding my hypothesis,” Able said.

“Uh, yeah, your science is shit.”

“I’m sick because you don’t like me,” Able explained, their arms folded tight across their chest, ready to defend this great idea of killing Beyond. “It’s the action of you not liking me that makes me sick. Therefore, if you die, you won’t be around to perform the action of not liking me, hence, I get better.”

“No, no,” Beyond said, shaking his head. Beads of water ran down his curls. “You’re sick because you like someone who doesn’t like you back. It’s the action of liking someone who doesn't like you that makes you sick, it’s YOUR action. If you kill me, it’s irrelevant, you won’t get better. It’s YOUR action, YOU have to stop doing the liking in the first place.”

“You’re-” Able said and then stopped and considered this.

Hmm.

“You’re bullshit,” Able finished but they weren’t entirely convinced of it. “Wait, hold on, if it’s MY action that gets me sick, how come it’s YOUR action of liking me back that makes me better?”

They both mused on this.

“Look, I DON’T KNOW,” Beyond yelled. He swung back and forth wildly in his chair. “Here, look, it’s not MY action of liking you back, it’s YOUR action of BELIEVING that I do!! So if you just, like, BELIEVE I like you, you’ll live!!”

“Make me believe it then, asshat!”

“NO!”

“Then die!!” Able screamed and they slammed the button again and the rope snapped in two and Beyond plunged underwater with a huge splash.

He fought for longer than Able expected. He tried to break his hands to get out of the ties, he tried to fight his way to he surface, he tried to break the plastic chair. It was several minutes and he was sort of going purple.

Able watched and fixed their nasal cannula again.

Sometimes, when they looked at him or thought about him, they were arrested by daydreams of spending time together, of Beyond thinking they were cool, being interested in them. They fought off another now and tried not to think about how clever he would think they were for this whole thing if, you know, they’d been in the process of killing someone else instead. Too late now, they though flippantly.

Able watched from the top of the water as Beyond slowly stopped fighting.

Through the swaying water, they watched air bubbles escape his lips and his eyes close. His hair floated around his face and his head lolled back in the water. He was dying, it was happening.

Able grit their teeth so hard they thought they’d crack.

“Damn,” they hissed. “Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck you!!”

Then, they took off their oxygen and left the tank there and dove in.

Under the water, they sawed at the zipties with their pocket knife until they could work him free and then they dragged him to the surface of the water with them, which was nearly impossible given the state of their lungs.

They slung him up on the concrete with some difficulty-he’d definitely have scrapes on his face and arms, but whatever. Then they, already exhaustedly, followed him. They laid on the concrete, dripping wet, their hair in their eyes, and felt sort of like a beached fish. They were sucking on air like there wasn’t enough to go around and hurriedly, they scrambled for their cannula. Oxygen tanks, they decided, were bullshit.

Then, they turned to B.

They slapped his face. No response.

“Ugh, fine,” Able growled and then they started pumping his chest. They barely had enough air themself to complete CPR but finally, Beyond coughed up some water and curled onto his side and started breathing again.

Able knelt next to him, wiping wet hair out of their eyes and tasting chlorine on their lips from their dip and from the water droplets left on his lips.

“You can’t do it,” Beyond coughed out finally after a few minutes of lying on the cold concrete, hacking water out of his lungs. “You can’t kill me.”

“It’s not that,” Able said distractedly. “I just came up with a plan.”

Beyond flopped onto his back and wiped hair out of his face and glared hatefully at Able.

“What’s stopping me now from pushing you into the water now? Huh? You’re on the verge of death anyway, you’ll be easy to take out.”

“I’m not going that easy. Try me.”

Beyond glared at them and then, his eyes darted above their head and then back again.

“Fine,” he growled. “Not today, then.”

Able crisscrossed their legs and scooted closer to Beyond and dragged their oxygen tank closer, the metal clanging against the concrete.

“Here’s the plan. Listen up, smartass. You make me believe you like me just so I can get over this thing until I’m cured or I kill you. You got it?”

“So you finally decided I was right and killing me won’t save you?”

“I decided I’ll postpone your date with destiny to test a theory.”

“So you’re taking my friendship with a gun to my head?”

“You don’t have to REALLY like me, loser, just make me believe it enough to heal me and then we can go our separate ways.”

Beyond glared up at Able. His face and arms were scraped and bleeding lightly from being pushed up on the concrete unceremoniously and he looked bad, but Able knew they looked worse. Their eyes were sunken and they were pale and bloodless and they’d somehow already lost weight from barfing flowers day in and day out. The oxygen tank was just the cherry on top of this awesome ‘I just busted myself out of an intensive care unit’ look.

“That sounds like a shitty plan,” he said. “Sounds like a plan that’s not gonna work.”

“It’s that or death,” Able said and they sneered. “For the both of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! i hope you dug the first chapter-i love jumping into the action! my vision for this fic is to be fast, fun, and cute!!  
> if you don't know able, check this tag out on my tumblr! i've done tons of art of them I've shared there -> https://misas-biggest-fan.tumblr.com/tagged/able


	2. part two

Beyond’s first act of the ‘Make Able Really Believe It” plan was to help them back to bed. Able insisted.

“I know if someone really loved me, they’d help me when I was sick,” they said so now, they were both making their way back to their dorm room slowly but surely, Able’s arm slung around Beyond’s neck and their oxygen tank in his arms. Able was probably supposed to go back to their hospital bed, but they didn’t want to BE in a hospital bed, they wanted to be in THEIR bed at home. So they decided they’d let Roger insist they go back whenever he found them.

Able slept in the top bunk of the room they shared so Beyond helped them up and then climbed up the ladder with them and bitterly tucked them into bed.

“You cozy?” He said darkly.

“SO cozy, thank you, Backup,” Able said with a too-sweet grin.

“I’m gonna kill you in your sleep,” Beyond said.

“Try it,” Able said and they rolled over and yawned. “That’ll be fun for me.”

A few hours later, Roger stood weakly in the doorframe and said, “Able. You ran away.”

Able rolled over, half awake, and looked at Roger harshly.

Across the room, his feet up on his desk, Beyond had been reading comics. He looked up lazily. From where they’d laid mostly asleep, they’d watched him collapse exhaustedly in bed for a while and then pace as he tried to think of ways to screw them over and then finally take a break by reading. He seemed to have recovered well from the chloroform and the half drowning.

“Well, come on back,” Roger said.

“But I’m so comfortable here,” Able complained, ready to be difficult just for difficulties’ sake.

For a second Roger didn’t say anything and then he just frowned at the floor and sighed and shrugged. Able waited for the fight.

Except Roger just said, “Okay,” and then he turned around and left.

Oh, hmm.

That hadn’t actually been the plan.

Once Roger learned where they were, Able expected to be taken promptly back to their hospital room. And they would fight and complain about it the whole way, but everyone would say, ‘Oh, Able, the hospital is the best place for you right now, we want you to get better, you have to go.’ And then Able would get to hear them talk about how much they needed them to be fixed.

But, well… Roger really didn’t care, huh.

“Ha!” Beyond yelled from the other side of the room, which wasn’t that far away so he didn’t need to yell it. “THAT’S not what you wanted, was it!”

Able glared at him miserably from under mounds of blankets.

“Roger must REALLY not care whether or not we have your funeral in a week.”

“Go insist!!”

“What??”

“You’re my friend under threat of death-go INSIST that Roger take me back to the hospital!”

Beyond huffed and made an angry face, but finally, he threw down his comic book and stood up lazily and left the room.

Able snuggled back down into their bed angrily until he returned and Able was put back into one of the House’s vans and driven down to the local hospital, but not before they laid down ground rules for Beyond.

  1. He had to visit every day they were in the hospital and stay for as long as the nurses would let him.
  2. He had to take an interest in Able’s health and also them as a person.
  3. Once they were out of the hospital, he had to talk to them every day and eat meals with them.
  4. If he tried to betray them at any time or didn’t seem to be trying hard enough to make this whole thing work, Able wouldn’t hesitate to return to plan A, which was ‘kill Beyond’.



The next day, true to the rules, Beyond visited Able in the hospital.

He had a stack of homework and comics with him and a bored expression on his face when he plopped down into the chair next to their bed.

“Hi,” he said, but it sounded bitter.

“Hi,” Able said and then, Beyond leaned back in his chair and opened up his comic book. “Um, hello,” Able said. “Take an interest, shithead.”

Beyond glared from over the top of his book.

“What do you want me to ask.”

“Ask how I’m feeling.”

“How are you feeling.”

“Shitty. Thanks for asking.”

Beyond snorted but corrected the grin on his face quickly back to a frown.

“Coughing up any more flowers today? By the end of this, we’ll have a whole bouquet to bury you with.”

“I’m not being buried,” Able said. “And yes, I  _ have _ actually been coughing a  _ lot _ today and it really, really hurts.”

“I’m sure,” Beyond said and he went back to his book.

For a second, Able floundered there.

They liked talking to him, even when he was mean or dumb. They liked the back and forth. They wanted to talk to him more.

Able had been at Wammy’s House now for what felt like ages and the whole entire time, no one had loved them. No one.

It only made sense. They were insufferable to everyone. But still, you know. It might have been nice to get a little concern now and again.

They struggled to think of things to say to Beyond to keep the conversation going. They hadn’t really had to do this before, think of things to say to people, so it was sort of hard.

“The nurses here are mean.”

“That sucks,” Beyond said without looking up.

“And the food is bad, too.”

“Mm.”

“Also it’s always too cold.”

“Oh.”

How did people have conversations?! How did they do it?! Able had heard of people talking about comfortable silences but they didn’t know if they knew what that meant and they certainly were not experiencing one now.

They tried to think about what they DID know.

They knew crime solving and being clever and doing puzzle games as homework and solving for x and thinking outside the box. They knew how to zip tie someone to a chair and then dump them into a pool. They knew how to shove someone just the right way when the referee wasn’t looking so they could score a goal AND sprain someone’s arm at the same time. They just didn’t know how to chat.

“Do we have a lot of homework?” Able asked finally, a little choked.

“You’re asking about homework?” Beyond said and looked up over his book, his eyebrow raised judgingly. “That’s about as bad as asking about the weather.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is, no one likes talking about homework. You’re clearly just bored.”

‘Desperate’ was probably how Able would describe it.

“When’s the last time you MADE a friend, Ashley Cordello.”

Able hardened.

“I make friends all the time.”

“Uh huh, sure. That’s why in class, I always hear people saying GOOD things about you and not about how much they hate your guts.”

“Then fine, what SHOULD I ask? I don’t see YOU abounding in friends. It’s not like they say good things about you, either.”

“Well, I’m not about to keel over because of it, am I?” Beyond said and rolled his eyes, like Able lying on their death bed with hanahaki was some silly fit of them being too sensitive.

And well, maybe it was. In a dark sort of sense.

“Ask me about me. That’s how you get people talking.”

“Fine. Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know.”

“Well-“ Able looked him up and down. He’d finally put his book down and was looking at Able and Able glanced down at the cover. “What are you reading.”

Beyond held up the book.

It was a cutesy looking manga.

“You’re not embarrassed to be reading comics for little girls?” Able snorted.

“I’m not embarrassed about anything, actually,” Beyond sneered back. 

Able would agree with that sentiment, that there was no point in feeling embarrassed for things, except they felt like they were probably embarrassed or at the very least ashamed a lot more than they’d like to admit. They were certainly embarrassed to be on this hospital bed with hanahaki, a disease they THOUGHT they’d be immune to as, you know, a ‘cold and heartless’ aromantic, but they supposed they’d been wrong. They were embarrassed that the only person to visit them was someone they had to force under threat of death. They were embarrassed that the person who gave them hanahaki knew ALL about it, knew EXACTLY how they felt about him, knew what it was doing to them. And he still didn’t care. Able had a lot to feel embarrassed about.

“Well, maybe you just haven’t been kicked around enough,” Able said back. “I can change that.”

Beyond rolled his eyes.

“Can I add that threatening to beat someone up is ALSO not how you make friends?”

“Then teach me, butthead, since you’re such a friend-making expert.”

Beyond opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could, a nurse stuck her head in the door and said, “Visiting hours are up for today-sorry, kids.” And Beyond was ushered out.

Behind the nurse’s back, he stuck his middle finger up at Able. Able stuck their tongue out back at him and then the door was shut and they were alone.

They settled back into bed, bored, before they looked over at the table beside them to see the comic Beyond had been reading-he’d left it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a cold and heartless aro myself LOL, i LOVE writing romance tropes and making them about friendship. its SUCH good stuff a;sljkdf


	3. part three

Once it had become overwhelmingly obvious what disease Able had and why they had it, they were bedridden. It was the end of the first week of Beyond arriving at Wammy’s and Able was so embarrassed and frustrated and enraged that this was happening to them. It was so revealing, so invasive, so painful. It made them mad too because they hadn’t even realized they LIKED Beyond that much until their body really let them have it. They guessed they’d been shoving the pining down as far as it would go and they could fool themself, but they couldn’t fool their now-revolting immune system.

The first morning of Able not making it to school, Beyond joined them in bed. He climbed up the ladder and sat down by their feet and kicked his legs over the side of the bed. This was the first time he’d ever paid much REAL attention to them.

“Go away,” Able hissed from under their fortress of blankets. Already, they wanted to melt from the shame of it all. Their face went hot. He knew how they felt about him and that made Able want to curl up and die.

“I don’t think you want me to,” Beyond said and one corner of his mouth turned up.

“Asshole,” Able spat. “Fuck yes I do, leave me the fuck alone. You’re the fucking asshole who got me sick in the first place, of course I don’t want to see your stupid shithead face.”

“What a mouth,” Beyond said. “You make sailors weep.”

Able flopped around and faced the wall and hugged their blankets to themself angrily.

“You haven’t called me by my name.”

“It’s because I gave you a new one: asshole.”

“Call me Beyond,” Beyond said.

Able froze.

Something about the way he said it made them believe that this was serious-this was his real name. Able hadn’t heard it before now. They knew he was called Backup and his letter would be B when he graduated, but that’s all they knew.

They rolled over.

“What the fuck kind of dumbass name is that.”

“It’s  _ my _ name.”

“And if I use it to screw you over?”

Beyond was examining his fingernails on one hand, over-acting his boredom. 

“You won’t.”

“If you think for one second this dumb flower things means I’ll protect you-”

“I DO think that, actually,” Beyond said loudly and he looked back over at Able and he looked serious. “But also, your name is Ashley. Ashley Cordello. So if you screw me over, I’ll screw you, simple as that. Now we’re even.”

Able laid there, staring at Beyond from underneath their heavy pile of blankets, shock freezing them in place. 

The only sound in the air was their annoying, wheezing breaths that had become so normal, Able barely recognized them anymore.

How had he known? Where had he found that?

Every mention of an Ashley Cordello having ever lived had been scrubbed off the face of the earth. The DIGGING he would have had to do, Able can’t even fathom.

“I don’t understand,” Able breathed. “Why-How-”

“No ‘fuck you’s this time?” Beyond said.

“Where did you get that?”

“Let’s just say I have my ways.”

“Why did you tell me YOUR name? Why not just, just use this as leverage??” Why put them in this standoff like this?? Why give Able one of the most delicate, personal things he could have possibly given them?

“Honestly?” Beyond said. “I hate my new name. A lot. I want someone to not call me it. Who better to tell than you? Plus? I don’t think you’ve got a lot of time left to stick around this joint.”

“Kids don’t get adopted out of here.”

“I’m not talking about adoption.” He eyed them.

Great. Awesome. Wow. Was he insinuating they were gonna die?? This conversation was shaping up to be a real downer.

“Will you just get out of my bed? I’m RESTING, you know.”

Beyond laughed.

“Oh,  _ Ashley _ ,” he said, like they had said some sort of inside joke.

Able didn’t really dislike their real name. It was nice. They just thought of themself as Able now instead of anything else, so having Beyond call them Ashley threw them back into a distant past.

That same past was dredged up further as Beyond pulled something out of his pocket. It was Able’s blue hairclip. He must have got it off their desk, where they left it when they were in bed.

It was dumb, a stupid little trinket,  _ trash _ , really, but they always wore it and they’d had it ever since their parents were still around and it sort of made them think of simpler days. (They’d stole it off a kid in a park. Good memories.)

“This yours?” He said, even though, DUH, it was theirs.

Able bolted up in bed.

“Give that back,” they growled and then, the speaking and the force of moving so fast rattled their lungs and they started hacking, disgusting and wet, sucking in breaths like they couldn’t get enough, which, well, they couldn’t.

Beyond watched for a second uncomfortably and then, he put the clip in his own hair and used his now-free hands to awkwardly clap Able on the back.

They felt their throat closing and they wanted to die and hurriedly, they grabbed the little metal tin the nurse had put in bed with them and violently, painfully, up came flowers and petals and stems and blood and vomit.

"Yikes," said Beyond, staring at the growing pile of flowers in their lap. "That’s gross."

Able shoved him off the bed and laughed sickly when he hit the floor.

Now, Able thought of their hairclip as they picked up the little, girly manga Beyond had forgotten on the table behind him. Eye for an eye, they thought. He’d never returned their clip, so Able wouldn’t return his comic.

They flipped through it lazily. It was full of cutesy children and romances and pictures of characters overlaid with roses and little girls changing into magical creatures.

“I’m not embarrassed by anything,” Beyond had said and it rattled in their brain as they read.

This was the third or so volume, so Able had opened it in the middle of the story, but by the end, they were hooked.

It was about a little girl with magical powers who had to save the day in her middle school while trying to spend time with the boy she liked, a brooding bad boy with a soft side, and keep people from knowing she was magical. Able sort of actually loved it. Now they had to scheme about how to get the rest of the volumes from him.

The next day, Beyond showed up on time, a scowl firmly on his face as usual.

He sat down next to them.

“Where’s my book,” he said.

“’Hi Able, how are you, so good to see you’,” Able mimed casually.

“You took my book.”

“I didn’t TAKE anything from you. Actually, I haven’t seen a book. Maybe you left it somewhere else and someone threw it away because it looked so stupid.”

“My stuff isn’t stupid,” he said angrily.

Able settled back into their pillows and tugged their cannula back around their ear. The constant air stream and plastic in their nose would be annoying if it wasn’t so horribly vital.

“Looked pretty stupid to me.”

Beyond dropped more books onto the table loudly. Homework. He turned his head, rifling through it, and that’s when Able saw-he was wearing their clip. Their blood went a little icy in that moment.

“You look stupid WEARING that.”

“You look even stupider. It’s a little plastic clip for BABIES,” Beyond said. He had some sort of textbook open now and he wasn’t looking at them.

“Give it back.”

“No. I like it. I use it in class to make fun of you. People like me more when I’m making them laugh at you, you know.”

“That’s RICH coming from someone who spends all his time reading BOOKS for babies!!”

Beyond jumped up.

“Friendship making lesson number one?!” He cried. “You’re too much of an ASSHOLE to ever HAVE friends!”

Then, he scooped up the rest of his books and stormed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck the police  
> also, trans rights


	4. part four

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

It was black and they could hear shouting and machines and wheels rolling and there were hands on their body and something was pressing on their chest but they couldn’t pay attention to most of it because they couldn’t remember the last time they tasted oxygen and inside their throat was raw and sore and painful and the sour taste of flower petals and vomit was on their teeth and then it went black again.

When Able came to, they were back in their hospital bed like nothing had happened-except not exactly like that because their chest hurt and their throat hurt and their lungs hurt and everything ached.

They sat up as well as they could and looked down.

They were in new clothes, white and pressed and clean. 

There were a few specks of blood on their gown, dark against the white.

The next day, Beyond joined them again.

He took the clip out of his hair and slid it across the table toward them.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "Sorry I took it."

Able looked down at the clip and took it back gingerly. Then, they reached under their pillow to give him back his book and their eyes went wide. It was gone.

Duh, of course it was gone-they’d gone critical and had to have emergency procedures, had to be resuscitated, and they’d been moved rooms and changed clothes and his book was gone.

"You had my book," Beyond said.

"I-" Able croaked and stopped. Talking felt like stripping skin off their throat. They tasted blood and choked and heaved a little with the pain, vomit roiling in their gut.

"It’s okay, I know you did. The doctors put it with your stuff and I raided them and found it."

He passed them a notebook and a pen and Able took it up.

"Sorry," they wrote weakly.

"We’re even," Beyond said.

There was some sort of… Of hush that had fallen over them both now that Able really had barely come back from the brink of death. Beyond was quieter. He was smaller in his chair.

Able themself was barely functional, physically AND emotionally. Especially emotionally.

The next day, Beyond returned as promised, but this time he brought a wheelchair.

"What is that," Able croaked.

They could talk a little more now. Not a ton, but enough.

Beyond grinned.

"I took it from the entrance," he said.

"How?"

"You’d be surprised what you can get away with if you just pretend you’re allowed to do it. No one notices if you’re confident."

"And what are you gonna do with it?" Able asked. They were starting to run out of words. Soon, they’d lose their voice. The pain pills only hid part of the soreness.

"I’m gonna put you in it," Beyond said. "And I’m gonna dump you off a building." 

Able laughed, which HURT.

"I could take you on," they said which usually would have been true but today was very not.

Beyond helped Able up and put them in the chair and then rolled them out.

In the hall, they tried to act confident and discreet. And it was working until a nurse noticed and yelled "hey!" and then Beyond bolted and Able clutched the arms of the chair and they rocketed down the hall. Able laughed again and tasted blood.

They made it out, but barely, and Beyond ran with Able’s wheelchair all the way around the block, until they’d lost the hospital security.

"What’s your plan, dingus," Able coughed.

"My plan is to not spend any more time in that dumb, stuffy room," Beyond said. “If I HAVE to spend time with you, it’s not gonna be there.”

He pushed them into the city park and Able watched birds in the trees and kids playing with frisbees. They didn’t want to let Beyond know how exhausted and in pain they were. They were sort of having the time of their life.

Nearly dying scared them so bad they couldn’t put it into words. It was like dying was some sort of far away, unreal joke until Able was looking right at it and then it was real and close and it was oblivion and they were just a kid, they didn’t want oblivion, they just wanted a friend and a life. After the scare, they were too tired and drugged and in pain to do anything but lie in bed disorientedly and think about what death looked like. 

Outside, it was hot and there was a breeze and it smelled like grass and it was bright and Able couldn’t stop smiling.

They stopped in the grass for a moment and Able wanted to get out and lay in it, but they were worried that if they tried to stand, they’d collapse and they’d never recover from the humiliation. So they stayed in their seat and watched Beyond drop onto the grass. 

"Roger said you almost ate it."

"What do you mean."

"He said you were almost dead."

Ables smile melted.

"Yeah, because you’re not doing your job." They watched the sunlight on Beyond’s curls as he propped his head up on the ground and then he rolled over and faced them and it was another strike to the heart to realize how beautiful they thought he was and how many times they’d imagined him smiling at them. 

This was stupid. He was stupid.

"I don’t want you dead," Beyond said and then he rolled back over onto his back and started a daisy chain with dandelions.

And that wasn’t a declaration of love and friendship. But it WAS an improvement.


	5. part five

A few days later, Able miraculously left the hospital and went home.

They had been promoted back to just lying in bed, which at one point they'd resented but now cherished.

Their throat was better now, but their lungs still ached like nobody’s business. The doctors said another scare wasn’t LIKELY. (Not impossible, but not likely.) They’d somehow improved almost overnight, at least to the point of bedrest at home.

Was this proof that Beyond’s idea was working? 

But see, if that was true, it opened a whole slew of new problems for Able.

They had to admit to themself that they liked Beyond. A lot. No matter how hard they tried to bottle up the desperate pining in their heart, their body wouldn’t let them hide. But Beyond was just pretending to like them back-he was being held at figurative gunpoint. He was ACTING. As soon as Able was healthy, he’d go back to hating their guts, or worse, and then what! Would Able just get sick again??

They had to just get over him somehow. They had to be okay being alone. Forever.

Their first day home, they came back to a surprise party. There was a big ‘welcome home Able’ sign hanging from the ceiling and all the kids were there and someone had made a cake and everyone was super happy to see them and Able was shocked and delighted.

Or rather, that’s what they’d pictured.

When they actually came home, it was like no one had noticed they were gone. Or worse. Some kids even groaned when they saw Able walk through the door. Able made a mental note to fill their underwear drawers with hot sauce and made their way to their room to lay down in bed and bite their tongue so they didn’t cry.

They spent most of the night throwing up into the toilet-a bad sign. The bathroom was a mess of vomit and blood and flower bits when Beyond arrived in the doorway.

The flowers were small and white with little round petals. Able didn’t know what kind they were, but they didn’t taste sweet and by the time they were in the toilet, they didn't smell too good either. Able thought if they lived through this and ever had to see another one of these little white flowers, they’d just start throwing up again on the spot.

"Are you sure you shouldn’t still be in the hospital," Beyond said from the doorway and Able started. They wiped at the tears and sweat on their face and turned over and tried to look hateful-hed sort of found them in a compromising situation and Able hated to be compromised. 

"What do you care," they hissed. "Leave me alone."

"Okay," Beyond said in a bored sort of voice and he left.

But he was back after five minutes.

Which sort of made Able’s whole heart soar.

They felt like lately they’d spent a lot of time waiting for people to show them some concern and every single time, they’d just proven they didn't care, but Beyond returning was a new turn of events.

"I forgot to brush my teeth," Beyond said, a bit anticlimactic, and he stepped inside the bathroom and over Able’s body and leaned over the sink.

It still counted, Able thought.

Able watched Beyond brush his teeth from where they lay on the linoleum floor, tired, their hot face desperate for the relief of the cold floor. They were exhausted.

"I’m tired of being tired," they said.

"Nnng," Beyond said, a toothbrush in his mouth.

"I deserved a welcome home party."

"Nnghh."

"With cake and everything."

"Mmm," Beyond took his toothbrush out of his mouth. "How much longer are you gonna be in here?"

"I dunno," Able said. "’Til I stop throwing up."

"When are you gonna stop."

Able frowned. They HAD started feeling a little less nauseous. Maybe this was it for tonight.

"Now, I guess."

"Okay," Beyond said and he put his toothbrush up. "Well, come with me."

Beyond hauled Able up and helped them downstairs and in the big, industrial sized kitchen, he sat them on a bench and went into the fridge and came out and he had a cupcake on a plate.

It was little and pink.

"Its, uh, someone’s birthday soon, I dunno. There’s a ton of them in there. Figured you deserve this more than them, though, being in the hospital and everything."

He plopped the cupcake down in front of them. It was little and pink and decorated with a small white flower on the top. Beyond pretended not to notice the irony. Able wanted to cry again. Something in them snapped in a sharp way, like any little gesture of love was a softness so new it was painful. They felt like the broken end of something was pressed into their stomach.

"Thanks," they said quietly.

"I’d eat one too, but I just brushed my teeth."

Able laughed.

"Yeah," they said. "I know."

After throwing up for half the night, Able really wasn’t in the mood for eating a cupcake, especially one with flowers on it. But it wasn’t about the quality of the snack-it was about the gesture. So Able forced themself to eat as much of it as they could to prove they were grateful. 

They sat together in the kitchen in a sort of strained silence.

Able swiped frosting off their mouth with their thumb.

“This must be a weird first couple of weeks at Wammy’s for you,” they said a little more quietly than they’d meant to and looked down at their half eaten cupcake, turning it in their hands.

“It’s been a ride,” Beyond agreed. He leaned over and scooped a fingerful of frosting off the top of the cupcake and put his finger in his mouth.

“I heard you were in foster homes for a year before this.”

“Who said that.”

“I dunno. People.”   
“It’s true. Weren’t you?”

“Yeah, but not that long. That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Beyond swiped more frosting. Able let him.

“I thought you brushed your teeth already.”

“Yeah, well, guess I figure a cavity would be the least of my worries after everything.”

“What happened to your parents.”

Beyond looked up and his eyes flashed a little. Able didn’t back down. Was it rude? Probably. They didn’t like apologizing though.

“Dead,” he said.

“Uh, duh.”

“There was a train accident. And a robbery.”

“Ouch.”

“Yours?”

Able hesitated.

“Car accident.”

Silence enveloped them again as Able polished off the cupcake, with a little of Beyond’s help. Was this a comfortable silence? The oxygen tank’s steady hiss of air was almost louder in the quiet, but Able couldn’t remember to be embarrassed about it.

“I will say,” Beyond said once Able was finished. “I do appreciate a good murder plot.”

“Huh?”

“Your murder plot. To kill me.”

Able blinked.

“I like your gumption. If anything, you would have gotten some revenge. And good revenge, too.”

“Well, you know. Wasn’t that creative. Oldest trick in the book, killing for revenge.”

Beyond started to giggle.

“What??” Able said.

“Your name is Able,” he said.

“Yeah, so,” Able said.

“‘Abel’ usually is the one BEING killed, not the one DOING the killing. Like, the Bible. You’re a murderous Abel. Who ever heard of that.”

Able shook their head but they couldn’t stop smiling.

“How are you laughing about this? I’ve got a gun to your head.”

“Maybe it’s just funny,” he said and he was grinning mischievously and Able was thrilled. That snapped little piece inside them was stabbing into their heart. They felt like they were in a pool, their head under the water, zip ties around their wrists, choking from the pain of it all. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt, they thought. In the movies, friendship wasn’t supposed to make them want to cry. Healing wasn’t supposed to feel like drowning.

It was the lack of love, they figured, that made them ache like a wound unhealed once they finally saw an ounce of it. Like they’d always been sick and then HE came around and one drop of water in a desert was worse than no water at all.

That night in bed, once the lights were off, Beyond spoke again.

“You know I still hate you, right?” He said from the bottom bunk.

“I hate you, too,” Able said.

“Glad we’re clear on that.”

“Same.”

“Well, have a terrible night. Die in your sleep.”

“Thanks, you too.”

Able slept with their cannula around their face, but they still dreamed of drowning. The water was cool on their burning lungs and above them, they could see the surface of the water, the lights of the pool, and little white flowers floating on top.


End file.
